well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
