have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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