your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
