thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize