Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
