I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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