ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
