i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
