I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The air taste purple.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
