I'm really into asian looking animals
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
