question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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