he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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