I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
