He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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