Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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