Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
