So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
