Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
