Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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