you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sext me about skeletons
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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