She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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