It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
