How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
