so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They are going to name an STD after you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
