that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
