I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
