oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
