is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im holly from the hills drunk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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