i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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