You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
