Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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