bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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