Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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