I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
