I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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