I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
