Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
