Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
