Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
