dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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