I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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