This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need a beard to bite.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
