you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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