I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
