At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
