When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
