Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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