I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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