she woke up with a sticky ear
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize