K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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