i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
