Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize