so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
