So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
