Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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