Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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