she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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