Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
