I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Even my vagina gasped.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize