Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
