like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
