The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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