I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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