Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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